Mr. Mowog will sell your MG for you!

Remember, he's not a licensed dealer.

That redoubtable LBC entrepreneur from Crowley's Ditch, Mr. Martin Mowog, Esq., is at it again. This time he drafts a classified advertisement for a distraught MGB owner.

Ralph C. Hagan
Leyland End
New Albion in Ozarks

Dear Mr. Mowog:

I understand that you will post an advertisement on your web page to help me sell my 1976 MGB. It's mostly just heaps of old parts, but, perhaps, some masochist could have fun trying to sort it all out. I have never wrecked my nerves more than I have worrying about getting rid of this thing. It looks as if it's been ground-up in a big meat grinder, making the prospect of restoration seem highly unlikely. I think that viewing the car by any rational person would drive home the notion of ringing up the scrap iron dealer instantly. About the only rust-free part is the windscreen, and it is cracked clean through.

My wife has gone on a fast until I sell it and it is not safe for me to go home. I can't think of any desirable features about this heap, but the undesirable ones are too numerous to mention.

Regards, R.C. Hagan

Dear Mr. Hagan:

Thank you for your advert application. My fee will follow.

I'm sure we'll have no trouble finding a new home for your MG. In drafting the ad copy, I've merely taken excerpts from your letter so as to hold to an accurate distillation of the facts as you have presented them.

Here is how your ad copy will appear:

1976 MGB, heaps, never wrecked, ground-up...restoration, drive home...instantly, rust-free, clean, fast and safe, desirable features...too numerous to mention.

Ring: Mowog
Crowley's Ditch
55 555 3311

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Thanks for visiting. If you have a British sports car, don't ring Mr. Mowog, get it out and drive it!

Back to the Garage

David F. Darby -- New Albion End -- White River Valley -- Missouri -- USA